So, how about the second time around? Can there be true love this time between a Beauty and an Average Joe?

The Monday night (March 1) finale of "Average Joe: Hawaii" begins with a lengthy recap of the entire season, reminding viewers of how we came down to just Brian and Gil.

Brian is the Average Joe with the weak chin, the big Boston accent and the heart of gold. Gil is the bland hunk with the spiky hair and the negligible personality. Will Larissa follow in the footsteps of her "Average Joe" predecessor Melana and choose a personality-free boy-toy over a good-natured, smart and appealing regular guy?

The show is structured in an oh-so-spontaneous flashback. Larissa, drowning in make-up, recalls her visits to Gil's Florida home and Brian's Boston haunts.

Gil takes Larissa through a typical day in his life. There's his usual hydrofoil ride through the swamp and a visit to a construction site that he's probably never seen before. Gil's a man of few words and what few words he says reveal very little. On his NBC site bio, he describes himself as "under control" which may be Florida-speak for "sedated."

You might think this would bother Larissa. You might also think that she would be bothered by the fact that he doesn't seem to want to leave Florida.

Then there's a ride on a cigarette boat -- another insight into Gil's day-to-day life revealed through something he's never done before.

She gives him a St. Christopher medallion because it reminds her of the sea and the sea reminds her of his eyes. She stops short of calling his eyes the windows to his soul, because that window is sealed shut. They barely talk.

Then again, when they do start talking over dinner, she discovers that Gil thinks he wants to be an actor. This makes Larissa wonder if he's been acting the whole time with her. Is she implying that Gil might be a really bright, funny and sensitive dude and this whole wax mannequin thing is just a strange performance? Even Andy Warhol or Yoko Ono never attempted performance art this wooden.

They kiss by the fountain, but Larissa remains unsure if Gil will ever be emotionally available.

Brian greets Larissa at Boston Harbor, where they take a boat ride. He explains that Bostonians are people of substance, not flash. Larissa, ever as sharp as a Tic Tac, is able to deduce that Brian is talking about himself and not Boston at all. He gives her a lobster.

The next trip is to Fenway Park, a true cathedral of romance. Larissa isn't impressed enough, as far as I'm concerned. In another entirely spontaneous moment, just as Brian is discussing how Tim Wakefield is his favorite player on the Red Sox, the wily knuckleballer wanders out of the dugout in full uniform. Brian has no idea of who he wants to flirt with more. Tim, to his credit, manages to throw in mention of his wife and to avoid staring at Larissa. Then again, you can never entirely trust a knuckleballer.

When their names are put on the Fenway scoreboard, Brian is in tears. He's poetic, romantic and open as the music from "The Natural" plays. Larissa, though, remains somewhat remote, perhaps envisioning a hypothetical conversation between Brian and Boston Rob of "Survivor."

Brian takes Larissa to meet four of his friends. Amusingly, Brian is the stud of his group of chums.

After dinner, Brian comes very close to telling Larissa that he loves her, uttering those three magic words he admits that he's never said to a woman. It's unclear if he's ever told Dwight Evans, Luis Tiant or Rich Garces that he loves them. She cries.

The editing here is comical. Are we honestly supposed to believe that Brian did all of these thoughtful things and Gil just took Larissa to a construction site? If Larissa's ultimate choice is Gil, the show's producers have given viewers no justification for the decision.

It's crunch time for Larissa. Both men are hopeful. As was the case in the show's first installment, the Beauty is left to choose between physical attractiveness and depth. In Season One, Melana picked Jason over Adam, going for looks.

First out of the limo and into the airplane hanger is Gil. Larissa almost looks sad when he arrives. She says she's trusting her instinct and that her instinct tells her to choose him. Hmm... "Instinct." Is that what the kids are calling it in the schoolyard these days? Gil can only say he's happy and repeat her platitudes back to her. Words with more than one syllable seem to be a real problem for him.

Poor Brian. We know he's cruising for a bruising when his limo pulls up. Larissa is left explaining to Brian that even though he makes her feel like a queen, he's not the one. The light goes out in his eyes when she reveals to him that her heart is telling her something else. Hmm... "Heart." Is that what the kids are calling it in the schoolyard these days? She actually says that she hopes they can be friends.

Brian merely says "Bye" and walks away. He gave her his heart and Tim Wakefield's autograph and she didn't even give him a pen.

So Larissa has made her inane decision. All that's left is the exposure of that crazy secret that NBC has been teasing all week. Does Larissa have a kid? Is she married? Is she really a millionaire? Is she a man?

Nope. Her great revelation, her massive twist, is uncovered during a previously happy and romantic weekend in Cabo.

Her horrifying secret? She dated Fabio.

The only thing stupider than the secret itself is how Gil takes it. He storms around on the beach kicking driftwood, cursing fate and throwing stones. He rants to the cameras about his own inadequacy and says that all guys know what he's feeling.

Wait? Are we talking about the same Fabio? The "I Can't Believe It's Not Butter" pitchman? The guy who got hit in the face by a flying goose on a roller coaster? That's what this semi-couple is breaking up over? Gil actually packs his bag and ditches Larissa because she dated Fabio.

The final shot of the former Miss USA contestant is of her lying on a couch, eyes red, moaning, "Shame on me."

She has been spurned because she once dated Fabio. No matter how many times this gets repeated, it can't change one of the most absurd moments in the history of reality television.